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Ya cook it 'til it's done!

~ by Cajun Clark ~

Here's another comical article from our friend "Caj" - one of his best known!


Jim @ LBJ, Texas, writes, "I have no problem with 'no recipe.' Check this cook's bible (The Joy of Cooking) and you'll find more column inches of generally useful information than you will column inches of recipe."

Agreed, Jim. But as to no recipe...oh, what the heck. Let's get on with it. Jim continues with what he calls "My paraphrase," which is more like a statement on how to live life. "Give a cook a recipe and he can feed you the same thing forever. Give a cook an education and he can feed many for years with little." How true, how true. Reminds me of a cookin' war story.

Many years ago, 35 or 36 to be exact, I was recently divorced from a woman who was a very good cook. And that can turn into a real problem very fast. Remember, back then when you said TV dinner, you were about one step removed from nothing. Selection was limited; taste isn't really worth mentioning; and to heat them was a chore requiring your dear old trusty oven, pre-heated at that. What microwave, my young friend? They wouldn't come along for another 10-years, then they'd cost a small fortune.

So when your taste buds are finally burned out, you'd better learn how to cook. And that's exactly what I did. However, I didn't get off to a very auspicious start. One evening, deciding sloppy joe's would be a good meal, I put all the ingredients I could remember in the skillet. Like hamburger, corn, peas and tomato sauce. Yes, I did know how to open the cans, and I even knew how to drain them. But that's not the problem.

When I turned on the burner it hit me: How long do you cook it? Scrambling, looking high-and-low, I couldn't find an answer in any of the stacks and stacks of notes, books and labels scattered about my place. Oh boy, I'm in too deep to scoop my way out, what now? I've got it: CALL MOM! When it comes to cooking, she knows everything.


Ring...ring..."Hello."

"Hi, Mom, how ya doin'? That's good. Mom, I need your help."

You know what's coming, and many of you are already laughing because you already know her answer. Any way, for those of us who are a little slower in the "learning to cook" department, I went on to explain in great detail what I was making, what was in the skillet and how it got there. After what must have seemed like an eternity to my Mom, I was ready; it was time for the Big Question. Taking a deep breath, I nonchalantly asked,

"Mom, how long do you cook it?"

And her immediate, I mean not even a nanosecond went by, reply--it could have been a retort--was,

"Until it's done."

"Oh. But how long is that, Mom?" Notice that even then I was a glutton when it came to wanting direct answers, not willing to settle for the one I didn't want to hear.

"But, Mom, how long?" Now it gets interesting, she's about to give me my first lesson of many on this fascinating road we'll call learning how to cook.

"Well, that depends..."

This is embarrassing. Do I have to spell it out? Okay, just remember, this is your idea. My Mom went on to list the variables, bang, bang, bang. No hesitation, not even a pause for breath. She mentioned size of skillet, what the skillet was made of, temperature of the ingredients, how high the heat was set, whether a small, medium or large electric burner was being used, and on and on and on. Until finally, I gave in, gave up, and said, "Thanks, Mom. Talk to you later."

But here's the real kicker. Twenty-five years later, I ask my Mom if she remembered blah blah blah? Then I proceeded to relate the story, to the best of my time-worn recollection, until I got to her answer. That's when I had my fun,

"Do you remember what you told me?"

"No, not really," she replied.

"Well, Mom, all you said was, 'Until it's done.'"

"You still remember that?" she asked, totally dismayed.

"Yes, I most certainly do. And do you realize that in all these years I've never ask 'How long do you cook it?'"

Hate to admit it, but Mom got the last laugh. Several months later, I called her and ask, "How long something would last in the fridge?"

Yep, you guessed it, no sooner were the words out of my mouth than we both replied in unison,

"Until it spoils!."

Yes, cooking can and should be fun.

About the Author

This article was originally written in 2003. Cajun Clark was (Jan. 1, 1939 - August 26, 2006) a world renowned writer of one-of-a-kind cookbooks. His first was "Cajun Clark's Cookbook: One Inch From the Top -- The Only Way to Cook!", a monster filled with over 1,100 favorite recipes he had collected over the years. That was quickly followed by Cajun Clark’s "Sweet & Sassy!", which was full of mouth-watering dessert recipes. And later, "Cajun Clark Cooks Chicken, Pork, Fish & Small Wild Game".

In addition, Caj wrote articles covering topics ranging from cooking to web site development and marketing to customer service and customer care. His articles are published on the WWW, and have an extensive following due to his unique writing style, “down home” humor and “common sense” approach to life. His cookbooks display this same style and are sprinkled with delightful stories, sage advice and his own “irreverent” comments, making them different from any other cookbook you are likely to find.

Although Caj's cookbooks are no longer sold (I am proud to say that I am an owner of each and every one, including his book "My Life With What's His Name? by Spotless, Queensland Heeler, Cleaner Upper Extraordinaire, as told to Cajun Clark" and "Shamblin' Down a Dead End Road: Remembrances Real(?) and Imagined(?)"), you can still view his wonderful free recipes at his websites for the time being until further notice: www.cajunclarkssweetandsassy.com and www.cajunclarkcooks.com, as well as recipes and anecdotes on his message board.

Caj...we'll miss you!






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